Are opponents of same-sex marriage homophobes? Do you care?

At pivotal moments in our nation’s history, when people are dazed and bewildered, and when things look like they could go either way, I like to emerge from my lair and sort the matter out. The recent heated debate in Ireland about whether or not opponents of same-sex marriage are homophobes is one such momentous moment. Is your mind going around in circles trying to get to the bottom of the great impenetrable question of what exactly a homophobe is? Do you find yourself lying awake at night, tossing and turning, wondering whether you might be a homophobe? Are you bored off your head listening to people drone on endlessly about this idiotic question? Well fear not! I intend to bore you about it as well. Duty calls for a clarifying intervention from www.brianbarrington.com.

There is an argument that people who oppose same-sex marriage are not necessarily homophobes. In my view this is incorrect. People who are afraid of equal rights for homosexuals are homophobes – they are afraid of homosexuality.

The argument against this is that many people who are against same-sex marriage, like perhaps some elderly relatives you might have, are really nice people and therefore not homophobes. Do you really want to label these nice people that you love so much with the horrible term “homophobic”? Well, it is true that they may be nice people but being a nice person and being a homophobe are not incompatible, just as being a misogynist\sexist and being a nice person are not incompatible. Nor is being a racist\xenophobe and a nice person incompatible. For example, perhaps you have elderly relatives who are very nice people but who are also sexist and racist – the fact that they are nice does not stop them being sexist and racist. Someone who thinks women should stay in the home and not work may be a nice person, but they are also sexist. Similarly, someone who thinks all blacks or foreigners should be “sent home” may be a nice person, but they are still racist and xenophobic.

Here is another argument against the view that opponents of same-sex marriage are homophobes: “There are some homosexuals who are against same-sex marriage. Are they homophobes? Are you saying that these people are self-hating homosexuals? Surely that is very bigoted of you.” Well, it is true that there are some homosexuals who are against same-sex marriage – these homosexuals oppose equal rights for homosexuals so they are, in fact, homophobes. This does not necessarily mean that they hate homosexuals, it means that they are afraid of granting equal rights to homosexuals.

In the past there were doubtless some women who opposed giving women the vote – these women were sexists and misogynists because they were afraid of granting women equal rights. In the past there were doubtless some blacks who opposed ending racial segregation – these blacks were racist because they opposed granting blacks equal rights.

So people who oppose same-sex marriage are, as a matter of fact, homophobes. Now, a separate question is whether or not it is “helpful” or prudent to call them homophobes. Perhaps it would be better to go easy on them and not use provocative language, so that we can keep the debate civilised, and gently encourage people to accept same-sex marriage, rather than calling them terrible names? Well, maybe. But in my view the best tactic for expediting equal rights is by making opposition to equal rights appear wrong and pernicious, and that means labelling opponents of equal rights for homosexuals what they are: homophobes.

But ultimately I think it makes little difference one way or the other. In Western societies same-sex marriage is either legal or it will soon be legal – this is inevitable because the power of the idea of equal rights will eventually overcome any homophobic objections to it, just as the power of the idea of equal rights eventually overcame any sexist objections to women having the vote, and also eventually overcame any racist objections to blacks having civil rights. So you can call objectors to same-sex marriage homophobes if you want to, or you can call them principled conscientious objectors - you can call them fried-chicken if you like. It won’t make any difference. Same-sex marriage is going to become legal - it is just a question of when not if.