Alistair Darling and his Amazing Eyebrows: Intelligent Design Theory Finally Vindicated

If Labour lose the next general election in Britain, what will you miss most? I like to think that I am not alone in saying that what I would really miss are Alistair Darling’s Astonishing Eyebrows. What I could never work out was: how does he find the time to run the British economy? Combing, grooming and dying those amazing eyebrows is surely a full time job in itself. And what evolutionary explanation could there possibly be for nature to have produced such an extravagant facial phenomenon? I fear even Richard Dawkins would struggle to account for the ostentatious presence of those two mutant caterpillars. Does Darling use them to sense the vibrations of his prey in the total darkness of his subterranean hunting grounds? Or are they the result of some form of sexual selection, like the peacock’s tail, that Darling and his ancestors have used to hypnotise, bewilder and seduce the female of the species? No. They are an evolutionary mystery, irreducibly complex, like the bacterial flagellum. In fact, those eyebrows may well turn out to be the natural phenomenon that finally destroys the Neo-Darwinian Evolutionary Synthesis that is nowadays so fashionable, because many will conclude that a wonder such as this could only be the result of Intelligent Design.