Ireland wins the rugby – who gives a toss?

I know I don’t. I used to support Liverpool Football Club. One day I said to myself: “Liverpool FC don’t give a damn about me. Why should I give a damn about them?” Until I hear a convincing answer to that question, I won’t be supporting anybody.

I did play a game of rugby once. I was politely put out on the wing. The team captain, sensing my enthusiasm and talent, positioned me carefully on the pitch: “move further towards the sideline Brian, just a bit further, keep going now”. “But if I go any further” I protested “I won’t be on the pitch”. “Exactly” he replied. Despite my attempts to avoid the ball, I got it at one stage, and somebody broke my ankle – an injury which has haunted me every since, and which I hold responsible for cutting short a promising career in rugby.