"How can I find a partner?"

A READER WRITES: “I am a single and I want to find a partner. How can I find a partner?”

BB SAYS: If you do not have a partner it is probably because your standards are too high. If you want to have a partner you need to reduce your standards. If you are a man, you would probably like to go out with a super-model. But why would a super-model want to go out with a mediocre failure like you? If you are a woman you would probably like to go out with a successful, confident, high-status male. But why would a high-status male want to go out with someone not very desirable, like you? You need to lower your standards drastically, and then you will have no problem at all finding a partner.

You may think that by lowering your standards you are in danger of “selling yourself short”. If this happens then you can dump the person you are going out with, and try to find someone better. Also, successful relationships require practice. You can gain valuable practice at relationships by going out with someone who is “beneath you”. Then you will become better at relationships, and be able to have a better partner once you dump your existing partner, and go looking for another one.