“My husband’s philosophical mania”

A READER WRITES: "My husband has got it into his head that he can help people,
that he can solve their problems. So he spends most of his time interfering with
people and offering them disastrous advice. Now you might think this is noble -
given your own occupation with this site - but really my husband cannot run his
own life properly never mind other peoples'. He is completely delusional and has
a kind of mania about philosophising to people. Unfortunately I think your site
is encouraging him and deepening his obsession. What do you advise as a cure for
a man who needs to feed his own ego by setting himself up as some kind of
Oracle?"

BB SAYS: You raise an interesting issue: Why should you listen to anyone’s advice? Why, for example, should you listen to my advice?

The answer is: generally you shouldn’t listen to people's advice. Most advice is rubbish. How can someone else know more about your problems than you do? It’s unlikely. Also, when people give advice they frequently have their own agenda – and it might not be your agenda. What is their motive? Most advice is not worth listening to.

However, some advice is worth listening to. After all, you don’t want to be isolated and bereft of valuable information that might come from other people. Other people are a potential source of beneficial advice and information. But which people?

Listen to the advice of people who seem to be happy, good, and in control of their lives. Personally, I have always found the advice of the great philosophers to be the most useful to me. Evaluate all advice you are given – if it seems like the person is talking sense, if what they say chimes with your own experience, if you find yourself saying: "Yes, that is what I feel and what I think and what I experience", then perhaps the person is worth listening to. If not, then search elsewhere for sound advice.

As regards your husband, I suspect that most people cheerfully ignore his advice and his philosophising. It seems mostly like a harmless hobby. Don’t be too hard on him.