Metaphysics and Anal Sex: the connection

A READER SAYS: “Dear Brain Barrington, My wife and I have been married for 2 years but a fundamental disagreement threatens to tear our marriage apart. She has developed a radical attachment to the epistemological deductions of Logical Positivism - she cannot abide my interest in Metaphysics and has thrown out a lot of my books. She takes every opportunity to rubbish a priori propositions in front of our friends just to belittle me. This has shaken our relationship to its foundations. As well as this she is insisting that we cut down on anal sex as she says that it's degrading. I don't think we can continue - I can't see a way out but there are children involved and for their sake I want to try - I really do. What would you do Brian Barrington?? Console me with your philosophy.”

BB SAYS: Your relationship appears to suffer from a basic problem of lack of mutual respect. A successful relationship requires compromise. If your wife agrees to become more tolerant of your metaphysical musings, then in return you can agree to become more tolerant of her lack of interest in anal sex.

But it can be very difficult for a relationship to survive basic and important metaphysical disagreements of this sort. I would recommend that you both take a course in Husserl’s Phenomenology – it may provide a philosophical framework that leaves room for both metaphysical speculation and logical positivism – it will permit your wife and you to “bracket” your metaphysical disagreements, and make philosophical progress in other areas.

Regarding your sexual issue: according to Christopher Hitchens “the four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.” Solve your problem by focusing on the other over-rated things in life – bring your wife for a champagne and lobster picnic. If this does not work, consider confronting the probable source of your obsession with anal sex: your repressed homosexuality. Your sublimated homosexual energy may be manifesting itself in your metaphysical flights of fancy. The two problems are likely to be connected.