Monday, January 26, 2009

Reader wants boyfriend to “buy me small presents”


A READER WRITES: “I want to get my boyfriend to buy me small surprise presents like I do for him. He says how thoughtful I am, but never buys them for me. He does buy me stuff and is very generous, but it's the small things isn't it? Or - should I stop whinging and get over it, sure amn't I lucky to have a boyfriend at all what with the recession and obama and all that kind of carry on? [i feel i should mention either the recession/obama/both in order to seem learned for your audience] ”

BB SAYS: This is an extremely common problem for women. They buy their boyfriends lots of little presents in the hope that he will “get the message” and buy lots of little presents in return.

In general men and women have a completely different attitude when it comes to presents. Men cannot understand what the big deal is. At the mere thought of buying a present, men are overcome with nausea, panic and despair. Consequently, they avoid buying presents unless they absolutely have to - and even then they sometimes don't do it. Few things bewilder them or frighten men more than the thoughts of having to try and buy someone a present. But it does not mean they don't love you.

Many women, on the other hand, live for presents. A well-chosen present demonstrates that you have been thinking about the other person, and that you understand what they want and what they like. It shows that you have made the effort to get inside their head and their heart. Hence the squeals of delight whenever a woman receives a present.

So a handy tip for men: if you want to impress a woman, just buy her a little gift. Women are absolute suckers for this kind of thing. As for women, I am afraid that, unless your boyfriend is a feminine homosexual, he is unlikely to buy you lots of little gifts on a frequent basis.

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